KTDontheGO: Allowing Kids to Fail on Vacation

Wherever you fly, you’ll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don’t
Because, sometimes, you won’t. 
-Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You’ll Go!

TRAVEL IS FULL of failures. Big ones, little ones, and all the missteps in between. Be it simple as a rainy campout, or complex as a forgotten passport, the very nature of venturing even a few miles from home means we place our families in prime position for slip-ups.  

As a somewhat over-organized traveler, it pains me greatly when adventure-flops are caused by people I know and love. Frankly, if it were up to me, I’d pack everyone’s bags and have them in the car way before my son has even begun to drag himself to the bedroom and the methodical process of sorting and stacking toys (not clothes) in a too-small suitcase. If it were up to me, everyone would have day clothes, evening clothes, swim clothes, and rain clothes; not to mention extra clothes when the aforementioned previously-packed-by-me clothes become wet, muddy, or otherwise unwearable. And I haven’t even begun with the footwear, yet.  

But what will that accomplish? Might save my sanity, for sure, but if travel as a concept is truly about learning, growing, and experiencing new things, doing everything for my son might not end up doing anything in the long run. I want to raise an independent kid who will hopefully become an independent young man, one that embraces the idea that travel screw-ups do happen, but knows the skills to problem-solve and communicate toward an eventual solution.

Here’s how:  

Pack it. Construct a destination-appropriate list with kids, and enlist their input about clothing and gear. Post in a conspicuous place, and let them go to it. This works best if you try it first on shorter journeys, and not before a six-week trip to Europe or a wedding in Hawaii. If kids have specific outfits to wear, or gear they must bring; fine, but let them make some decisions, too. Make sure children have a bag they can call their own, as well, since ownership goes a long way toward pride in one’s ability to pack.  

Let them try. Setting up the tent, changing a bicycle tire, ordering dinner in a restaurant, speaking another language. Over, and over, and over. Who cares if they order french fries for everyone or put the tent’s rain fly on backwards? Bet they’ll learn something, and so will you. Allow kids the freedom to choose new activities, too. Ziplining not your thing? It might be your teen’s most memorable few hours of vacation, if given the chance. Do your homework together, and apply the “try everything once” guideline. You might be surprised at the level of interest. 

Let natural consequences rule. My son went through a phase where everything was my fault. Sorry buster. Remember that list? After a trip to the beach with no boots, make sure they are added to the packing list once you return home. If it’s health and/or safety, of course, step in; otherwise, let their feet get wet. 

It’s a new year - let’s allow kids the freedom to try new things and learn new skills. It may not be pretty at first, but in the long run, “Oh, the places they’ll go!”