KTDontheGO: 5 Tips for Ensuring Good Travel Manners

IF I HAD a nickel for every time my son forgot to say “thank you,” I’d be one rich woman. I prompt, I remind, I even bribe (when necessary), especially on vacation. We are the guests, after all, and whether we’re across the country or at a campground across town, manners play an important role in travel stewardship. 

It’s easy to let the most basic practices slide while vacationing. Moms and dads want relaxation and a time-out from the daily grind, and sometimes manners become the helpless victim. I’m as guilty as the next for occasional lapses in the “Please and Thank You” department, but after a few ugly incidents from our son on a recent trip to Hawaii, we had to engage in a family meeting to re-establish the sense of respect for both our location and the myriad cultures intertwined in tropical paradise, not to mention toward We the Parents.

Talking to kids away from others
reduces the embarrassment factor 

Below are a few of our discussion points, and some tips to prevent (hopefully) your own “manner-meltdowns": 

1. Set expectations early. Going out to eat? Discuss appropriate behavior and role-play potential scenarios at your own dinner table. Flying across the country? Talk about airplane manners of keeping feet and hands quiet, and how to talk with seatmates. Headed to stay in someone’s home? Refresh manners of picking up after oneself and conversing with hosts. Do have a “last minute” chat just before arrival. Will they shake hands, or say “Nice to meet you”? Be clear and consistent. 

2. Take time to learn about your destination. Especially important when traveling overseas, knowing a bit about culture and mannerisms can be valuable, and interesting, to kids. Hand gestures, eye contact, and other traditions are important, and show your commitment to visiting that particular country or community. Also remind kids that a smile goes a long, long way almost anywhere. 

3. Eat out with confidence. Well, maybe not confidence, but at least with the appearance of such. Play “restaurant” at home, and teach kids to order their own menu items (with your approval, of course), how to ask for salt and pepper, and what do to with that “square of cloth on the table.” Be sure children know what items are forbidden, and which are special treats after they finish a meal. Remind of the “please” and “thank you” rule, of course. If visiting a different country, have kids practice ordering in the native language, most wait staff love it!

Ordering their own drinks is one way kids can learn to exert their independence when eating out

4. Correct quietly, yet quickly. Kids will be kids, and sometimes they just can’t remember all the rules. Take your little offender aside and remind about the rule, and lay out expectations for behavior one more time, preventing embarrassment. If an all-out tantrum ensues, remove the child completely from the situation. Avoid making empty threats of “I’ll take you out of here if you.....” Kids are not dumb; they’ll figure out you don’t mean it and keep right on a’ misbehavin’. Who’s relaxing then? That’s right, nobody in the place, especially you.

5. Appreciate the effort. Smile, they’ll get it, eventually. Show good manners yourself and they’ll follow along. 

Follow the Kirkland family’s adventures at AKontheGO.com.