Forgetting the Hard Parts of Parenting

I AM PROUD of my memory. Forgetfulness is something that I have always thought was a liability, but then parenthood happened and I now understand what a useful coping mechanism forgetting could be. Our family is in the teething-phase 2.0 and I am quickly remembering similar experiences that I had forgotten. But the fact that I forgot it once before makes me hopeful that I’ll forget it once again.

It truly amazed me how quickly my partner forgot most of the discomfort and inconveniences of pregnancy not long after our first son entered the world. She and I both remember some of moments and struggles with six-months of postpartum but we forgot about its true intensity until we relived it with another child. I forgot about the true discomfort of being sprayed with urine, catching feces escaping the catchment area or being enveloped in projectile vomit until frequent costume changes were again a common occurrence of our days. All bodily fluid-related incidences that I was happy to forget!

Projectile vomit - who me?!

This recent experience with cutting first teeth has been a reminder of some sleepless nights and endless screams of our first son’s experience. It was uncomfortable when it happened and I forgot about most of the hours lost to sleep until we are all now losing sleep again.

It is now my firm belief that forgetting many of the struggles of parenting accounts for why humans reproduce and why some humans want to do it multiple times. Has my forgetfulness been newly enhanced with parenthood? Is it possible that there are just too many good memories and positive feelings about our offspring that I do not have the capacity to remember all of the negatives?

Like grains of sand on a beach, so too do the memories of the difficult times wash away... 

I don’t know the answer to these questions but maybe I will discover better answers as parenthood progresses. What I do know is that when I think about our sons I think about their cute faces and their soft, fresh skin. I think about the sounds of their voices and the instant warmth their laughs create inside me. I think about their hugs and cuddles. I think about their accomplishments and how they amaze me. I think about my goals for them to be always safe, successful, and happy. I think about how I would do anything for them and how dedicated I am to their healthy growth and development. Yes, I am forgetting about so many of the challenges that I have had with being a parent, but now I see that forgetting is an asset.

Here's a not unpleasant reminder: you can keep up with Steve and his bunch over at his personal blog, AKDad.com.