teens

I APOLOGIZE TO the Alaska Railroad reservations agent who took our request for tickets to Talkeetna the weekend before Christmas. Normally I am not so obsessive-compulsive about seating arrangements, but my older son was with us, and he likes to know things ahead of time. 

It’s complicated.

MJ is 18 and, up until this past October, had been out of our home and in residential treatment for a laundry list of issues. Autism spectrum, depression, intermittent explosive disorder; the diagnoses came and went like seasons. My son is one of thousands in Alaska with mental illness, and now he’s back in our lives and part of our traveling family...to an extent, anyway - travel with MJ is different.

There are no last-minute, go-on-a-whim sorts of excursions when he’s with us. Whereas previous journeys were at a fast pace to accommodate multiple attractions, the trips with MJ are filled with alternatives. Alternative sights, alternative food, alternative schedules. For everything, there must be a second scenario ready to be implemented, ASAP. We’ve learned that renting a cabin or suite with a separate bedroom provides quiet relief for anxious moments, that ear buds on a noisy train or in a restaurant are perfectly okay. My husband and I have uncovered unique coping strategies to help soothe tense situations, and the phrase “divide and conquer” has become a whole new mantra, occasionally working well enough for a deep breath of reassurance that yes, indeed, we can do this - while including MJ.

It's MJ experiencing Alaska. 

Why shouldn’t he be allowed to travel in a manner that brings comfort? Alaska is an excellent destination for people like MJ who crave solitude, an absence of artificial noise, and basic, no-frills service. After all, just because hundreds flock to a glacier and wildlife cruise aboard a small ship with blaring microphones and cramped decks doesn’t mean he should, too. Viewing Alaska through his eyes has allowed us a fresh perspective on the travel industry, most especially so in Alaska, where frenetic pacing and long, exhausting days just won’t work. Paying close attention to MJ’s moods, we’ve discovered what parents of smaller children already know; factors like rest, different food, or a lack of exercise can cause night-and-day swings of happy to sad in a matter of moments. Instead of driving five hours to reach a destination, we might go two or never reach it at all, stopping instead to admire a waterfall, toss rocks into a river, or inspect interpretive signs along the highway. 

We’ve learned to slow down, quiet the noise, and throw out expectations long before we shut the garage door behind us. Snowshoes not fitting quite right? No problem, head back to the cabin and delve into a book, we won’t mind. Too many people talking too loud on the train? Pop in those ear buds and move to the back. This family understands. 

In light of negative attention surrounding mental illness in recent days, perhaps others will understand, too. 

Note: This is the last post I shall publish for Kids These Days. I wish to extend gratitude to the producers, writers, and hosts for their incredible insight and support for the difficult job of “raising Alaska’s future;” without projects like this one, that future might be even more confusing. Sarah, Shana, Jamie, and Jessica, thank you for thinking about kids, and the adults who nurture and love their little (and big) souls. 

Erin Kirkland is a freelance writer and publisher of AKontheGO, a website dedicated to Alaska family travel and recreation. She lives a charmed life in Anchorage with her fabulous family.  

WE EMERGED OVER the canyon rim, looking like we hadn't been in society for weeks. We were out of place among the day hikers, our 30-pound packs dwarfing their backpacks clearly separating us from them. Our legs were blotched red from the knee down, not because of sunburn, but because of caked-on dirt mixing with the sweat and sunscreen. We had been hiking for almost seven hours straight, but spying the top I felt an extra boost of adrenaline. We had just finished overnighting in the Grand Canyon.
   
My family and I had started our trek at five in the morning the day before. As we descended down the trail past thousands of years of history with every step, the sun was just about to peek out over the horizon. Even after hiking in Alaska, I couldn't get over how picturesque the scene was. To the east, a fine mist blanketed the rocks, partially obscuring the countless crevasses and canyon spurs jutting out from the mighty Colorado River. As the sun started to rise, the west became sharper and when we reached "Ooh-Ah Point" less than an hour into the hike, the canyon opened up for our viewing pleasure. The beauty of the canyon filled my vision, from one peripheral to the other. The morning sky was a light blue, it reminded me of Alaska, also how it was only 50 degrees in the sun. But I knew that would soon change, only I had no idea how drastic that change would be when it did.

The Walgren clan about to descend into the Canyon...

The hours ticked by, and with each step down, the temperature rose. We encountered a frustrating paradox while hiking. We wanted to look around at the scenery, but as soon as we'd lift our heads up off the trail ahead, our foot would hit a rock and our heartbeats would soar from 80 to 180 in the span of a second as we envisioned how one more misstep could speed up our descent drastically.
   
Sadly, as the hike dragged on and the temperature climbed faster than the sun, the Grand Canyon started to lose its charm. I was still trying to appreciate it, but that was now a secondary goal.  The primary one was simple - get to the bottom of this hole.
   
We accomplished that after around eight hours of hiking when we reached the base of the canyon where we set up camp. It was the early afternoon so for the rest of the day our only itinerary was to avoid the heat. The temperature topped out at 115 that day, but conveniently there was a creek next to the campground. Water had never felt so refreshing.
   
We woke up the next morning around 4:30, and I was surprised to see that we were among the last to get going. Everyone had the same idea - get out of this pit as early as possible to beat the heat. The ascent wasn't as bad, heat-wise because the higher we climbed, the lower the temperature became. By the time we saw the lodges on the rim, the temperature was in the 80's, a stark contrast to riverside.

And, back to the top again...
   

I'm really glad I got to hike the canyon as a kid. Now I'll always have fond memories of it, even though at times, going down into it, it felt like a deathmarch. But I can say now that, "I know what it's REALLY like," to be down inside the Grand Canyon, something those who never leave the rim get to experience.

NEWSFLASH: IN CASE you missed this week’s Kids These Days! broadcast of Inside the Teenage Brain: Teens take risks! Yes, parents, grandparents, and guardians of anyone age 12 to 18, you’ll need this nugget of information while on vacation. 

I’m thrilled to finally receive validation confirming the teenage brain is wired to do crazy stuff. In fact, I learned it aches to do stuff; wild, crazy and overly nutty stuff, especially while in the company of other brains with equal settings. 

No wonder parents hear the whining, witness the iPod tune-out, and see the rolling of eyes while teens are pushed and prodded through museum after historical site after interstate road trip. Here’s the irony of traveling with teens - young people need to feel a bit out of control to be in control; of emotions, bodies, and other people, we adults included. A teenager, I’ve discovered, is happiest when barreling down a mountain on a bike so fast the wheels are practically on fire, even if mom or dad is standing at the bottom of the hill shielding eyes from certain inevitable calamity. A teenage traveler wants to feel the rush of adrenaline as much as a parent wants to feel none, and I can’t think of a better state in which to offer such experiences to a growing adolescent body and brain. 

Alaska is perfect for teenagers. Enough mental and physical challenges are available no matter where a family decides to begin their travels. Below are a few excellent options that just might rate a “that’s cool!” statement when completed. Do double check age, weight, and ability requirements, however, before booking any challenging activity for your son or daughter. 

Mountain biking. Alyeska Resort in Girdwood and Eaglecrest Ski Area in Juneau offer summertime mountain biking around the area’s slopes. Between the cool chairlift ride up and the screaming fast trip down, kids will feel the thrill of independence coupled with the knowledge that everyone is watching from the lodge and hitting “update status” on their Facebook app. For a longer, touring-type approach, try Sockeye Cycles in Skagway or Haines, offering multi-day trips as far as the Canadian border, all gear and bikes provided.

Zzzzzzziiipppping through Alaska's forests

Ziplining. Really, what could be more in tune with a teenager’s zen than a series of zips 100 feet in the air? From Ketchikan to Talkeetna, ziplining is fast becoming the activity of choice among the adventure-loving set. In southeast Alaska, try Alaska Canopy Adventures and their 11-zip trip set high among the hemlock and spruce trees. Talkeetna is the latest community to jump on the zipline bandwagon, with Denali Zipline Tours, slated to begin zipping through the trees sometime in July, 2012. Note: Most ziplining companies require participants to weigh between 90 and 270 pounds, for safety reasons. “Zippers” must also be able to understand and fulfill self starting/stopping procedures along the course. 

Mountain adventures. Alaska possesses more glacial ice and rock than many other states in the Union, and much of it lies within easy access of the state’s largest community of Anchorage. Ascending Path guiding service leads day and overnight trips to remote areas of Alaska, with a ton of learning along the way. Want to climb a glacier? No problem, the Spencer Whistle Stop Rail and Ice Climbing trip combines a great trip aboard the Alaska Railroad with a little moraine exploration on the flanks of Spencer Glacier.

Teenagers want to show us they can, indeed, be “all that.” Give them the opportunity and see where it takes them, and you. 

Erin Kirkland is the mother of two boys; one teen, one wanna-be-teen. Follow her crew’s Alaska adventures at AKontheGO.com, a website dedicated to Alaska family travel resources.

OVER THE PAST 18 years, I've been told (and have told myself) that I have the strictest parents out of anyone I know. Of course now I have that wonderful thing called perspective, I know they were acting in my best interests. I may not have been able to do everything my friends did, but now I know that most of those things weren't as cool as they seemed.

The discipline started from as early as I could remember. In elementary school, we didn't have an "English Tele" (my and my brother's word for cable TV). All of my friends had cable, but my parents, acting like a very good PSA for standing up to peer pressure, didn't cave. Looking back, I kind of wish they hadn't ever relented, because 95% of the things I watch now are a waste of time.

Strangely enough, I was only ever really grounded once - but that lasted for the better part of four whole months. What'd I do? Well, I was caught not five minutes after I snuck out of the house in August, and I didn't get my privileges back until after Christmas. That swift and unyielding response showed me that the four hours I was planning to spend out of my house wasn't worth the treat that was waiting for me when I got home. My parents didn't mess around.

I remember my mom telling me the importance of structure in a kid's life, and I'm exhibit A. I can't remember a time where I was punished for something I didn't know was wrong. Everything was always clear punishment wise - this is why you're being punished - I just did it anyway.

From what I've thought about parenting, it seems to me that their main job (besides letting us live another day) is not letting us kids get ahead of ourselves. We want to stay up later, drink before it's legal, and do countless other things before common sense and science says we're ready. It's the parents' job to keep them from trying to act like an adult in 7th grade, because that wouldn't be pretty. I'm really glad to say my parents did a good job, even though at the time I wished they wouldn't be such good parents.